It sounds like an excruciating experience. Sorry to hear that Katherine, but glad you made it out the other side. You’re right - it’s hard to give good feedback and hard to receive feedback. I think in the past the empathise was on tutors ‘saying it how I think it is’ and I’ve certainly had some horrendous feedback. Now we’re so much more aware of other people’s mental health. Nonetheless it is so difficult to overcome negativity bias - it’s how our brains are wired - and focus on the positive. When my daughter was 4, her school teacher taught her to give feedback that is ‘kind, specific and helpful’. How times have changed! And this is what I say in every tutorial before I ask people to comment on each other’s work. Congratulations on your short story🌸
I wonder if the opposite can also be difficult, if you’re told your work is good you might build a false sense of confidence. I guess there’s lessons in all situations. And I’m definitely intrigued by the weird cow story!
Good point. Though some early positive feedback did wonders for me. I think giving constructive feedback is actually a very skilled thing, but you never know how it’s going to land.
I empathise with so much of this. I once had to read aloud at a course but I’d unwisely had a strong coffee before to stay alert and my heart was beating so fast I nearly fainted! Then the tutor’s remarks were really sneering and crushing. Sometimes I think I need a rhino hide to do this.
I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s easy for teachers to forget how nerve wracking this can be, I think. Sharing embryonic work isn’t easy. I’m curious, what did you learn from that experience?
That’s an interesting question. I think I learned to be more cautious about sharing my work, and it maybe even inhibited me writing so freely but after many years I hope I’m now braver to write what I want to write!
It sounds like an excruciating experience. Sorry to hear that Katherine, but glad you made it out the other side. You’re right - it’s hard to give good feedback and hard to receive feedback. I think in the past the empathise was on tutors ‘saying it how I think it is’ and I’ve certainly had some horrendous feedback. Now we’re so much more aware of other people’s mental health. Nonetheless it is so difficult to overcome negativity bias - it’s how our brains are wired - and focus on the positive. When my daughter was 4, her school teacher taught her to give feedback that is ‘kind, specific and helpful’. How times have changed! And this is what I say in every tutorial before I ask people to comment on each other’s work. Congratulations on your short story🌸
Thanks, Sanjida. We’ve all been there, I’m sure. On both sides of the experience! Kind, specific and helpful is such great advice.
Loved this! Thanks for sharing. I hope to read the cow story and attend your workshop. 🫶🏻
Thank you reading and hope to see you next week!
I wonder if the opposite can also be difficult, if you’re told your work is good you might build a false sense of confidence. I guess there’s lessons in all situations. And I’m definitely intrigued by the weird cow story!
Good point. Though some early positive feedback did wonders for me. I think giving constructive feedback is actually a very skilled thing, but you never know how it’s going to land.
I empathise with so much of this. I once had to read aloud at a course but I’d unwisely had a strong coffee before to stay alert and my heart was beating so fast I nearly fainted! Then the tutor’s remarks were really sneering and crushing. Sometimes I think I need a rhino hide to do this.
I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s easy for teachers to forget how nerve wracking this can be, I think. Sharing embryonic work isn’t easy. I’m curious, what did you learn from that experience?
That’s an interesting question. I think I learned to be more cautious about sharing my work, and it maybe even inhibited me writing so freely but after many years I hope I’m now braver to write what I want to write!