Thank you for sharing this, it needs to be said. Publishing a book is so complicated, and there's so much that's not spoken about. Like you say, we give so much of ourselves to the novel that it feels like the publishing date is the finish line, but it never is. I appreciate your honesty!
Your experience doesn't surprise me, nor stats about mental health among writers, even those who have been published. If you're writing fiction, the money you make on a book is going to be small for the time you put in, unless you are already a name, but even then, if money is your main motivation, you'd probably be better off selling online courses. So, in the end, if you love fiction it's better to forget about the income side of things and focus purely on connecting with readers, one at a time, bit by bit... in places like Substack.
Thank you so much for writing this. I hope it's been cathartic for you, and it's so important that more of these honest perspectives are shared so that can make informed choices for themselves -- and have those "solid foundations" that you refer to in the piece.
Thank you for candidly sharing, Katherine. I reference the results of The Booksellers survey so frequently that it can be easy to forget the nuances behind each case. The comparison of the Burton blog as well makes me wish I had read it as well when available.
Catherine, I'm so glad you published this post. As someone who published their first book and hit menopause at the same time, your words really resonated with me. The joy of my publishing journey was consumed with anxiety and a gazillion things to do to get my book seen. 4 years on and I still haven't completed my next book.
Really good to have these conversations. I just delivered an article for Author magazine on the topic of mental health and writers, and what you say here resonates. I do think the publishing industry owed you better transparency. They should be upfront about the reality of sales. That your experience was by far the majority. The pressure comes when you think you should have done better, and that’s all because of the hype that buoys the industry along. So good you’ve found your way. I also think Substack is great for that writerly community support.
Yep, agree with all of this. Commercial success looks different for different books, and there’s no transparency about this. I’m so glad the Author is tackling this subject and I’ll be looking out for your article! ❤️
What a beautiful post that has come out of such a painful experience. It strikes me so often that whenever we reach a point in life that feels like "it," that it rarely is the point I'm happiest with. I find I get this sort of crash after finishing a draft sometimes, or even finishing a manuscript.
I've got a novel that I've been querying to agents, and every time I read about how brutal the traditional route is, I think about all the joyful independently published authors I know and wonder... I've put my nonfiction out independently, but it feels different to go indie for fiction somehow. This has given me a lot of food for thought... thank you for taking the risk. Looks like you have struck QUITE a chord here. Really looking forward to your next post on steps to take to protect against this experience in the future.
Thank you, Caroline. I wasn’t expecting this post to resonate so much but I’m reassured that it has! I think these feelings are more common than we think, in all sorts of situations. Working on that positive follow up!
Thank you so much for sharing this. I am an upcoming author and after self-publishing my first two poetry books and 2 novels, I decided to venture into traditional publishing. I understand the patience required and the toll it takes on your sense of self-worth. While I have days I question everything as I wait for representation, I continue to write as I am surrounded with a family that both encourages and has taken the time to understand this process. All so that I do not feel ‘alone’. So best wishes to you and all aspiring and established authors. May we create stories for the love of creativity and always find our way back to the why✨
It would be wrong not to comment and at least say thank you. But I feel that I could write a novel back, as you just tapped into so many feelings that are very raw and fresh for me (book published April 30th). The inability to identify what I'm feeling is compounded by the challenge of being surrounded by non-writers who cannot understand what I'm feeling. It's lonely. Your post made it a little less so... thank you.
I’m so glad it helped a little bit! We feel we can’t or shouldn’t share these feelings, but judging by the reaction to my post, it’s really common! Congratulations on the book and I hope you’re finding some moments of joy too ❤️
Thank you so much, and I am for sure! It was the unexpected feelings that took me by surprise and this article really helped. At the end of the day, I remain so very grateful to be able to write, and that there are people who want to read it. And for you!
Thank you for the pearl of separating the creative act from the business of publishing. The more I micro-focus on satisfying the creative urge and less on the outcome, the happier I am.
Thanks for sharing this. As an aspiring author, this is so helpful to hear. I went through something extremely similar when I sold my business a few years ago. It’s wracking and painful, and isolating because everyone expects you to handle it well. Who do you complain to about selling a business or publishing a book? Many say they’d kill for “that type of problem” which feels so lonely and invalidating. Thanks again, be well.
Thanks for sharing this. It makes perfect sense that as soon as our entire self-worth is defined by the outcome of how many copies of the book were sold, we can’t feel free to create. I just started a cozy Sci-Fi comedy series on which I only gave myself 2 rules: I must make myself laugh while writing it, & it must make more than 1 other person laugh while reading it. And I have succeeded. And I have never felt more creative in my writing journey. 😁 All the best to you.
Thank you for sharing this, it needs to be said. Publishing a book is so complicated, and there's so much that's not spoken about. Like you say, we give so much of ourselves to the novel that it feels like the publishing date is the finish line, but it never is. I appreciate your honesty!
Your experience doesn't surprise me, nor stats about mental health among writers, even those who have been published. If you're writing fiction, the money you make on a book is going to be small for the time you put in, unless you are already a name, but even then, if money is your main motivation, you'd probably be better off selling online courses. So, in the end, if you love fiction it's better to forget about the income side of things and focus purely on connecting with readers, one at a time, bit by bit... in places like Substack.
Thank you for writing this.
Thank you so much for writing this. I hope it's been cathartic for you, and it's so important that more of these honest perspectives are shared so that can make informed choices for themselves -- and have those "solid foundations" that you refer to in the piece.
Thank you for reading!
Thanks for sharing this honest account, Katherine.
You're welcome. Thank you for reading!
Thank you for candidly sharing, Katherine. I reference the results of The Booksellers survey so frequently that it can be easy to forget the nuances behind each case. The comparison of the Burton blog as well makes me wish I had read it as well when available.
Nuance is the right word - everyone brings their own stuff, I guess! Thank you for sharing.
Catherine, I'm so glad you published this post. As someone who published their first book and hit menopause at the same time, your words really resonated with me. The joy of my publishing journey was consumed with anxiety and a gazillion things to do to get my book seen. 4 years on and I still haven't completed my next book.
I'm glad it resonated. Perimenopause has slowed me down too (a topic for another post?!). I hope you've reconnected with the joy ❤️
Really good to have these conversations. I just delivered an article for Author magazine on the topic of mental health and writers, and what you say here resonates. I do think the publishing industry owed you better transparency. They should be upfront about the reality of sales. That your experience was by far the majority. The pressure comes when you think you should have done better, and that’s all because of the hype that buoys the industry along. So good you’ve found your way. I also think Substack is great for that writerly community support.
Yep, agree with all of this. Commercial success looks different for different books, and there’s no transparency about this. I’m so glad the Author is tackling this subject and I’ll be looking out for your article! ❤️
What a beautiful post that has come out of such a painful experience. It strikes me so often that whenever we reach a point in life that feels like "it," that it rarely is the point I'm happiest with. I find I get this sort of crash after finishing a draft sometimes, or even finishing a manuscript.
I've got a novel that I've been querying to agents, and every time I read about how brutal the traditional route is, I think about all the joyful independently published authors I know and wonder... I've put my nonfiction out independently, but it feels different to go indie for fiction somehow. This has given me a lot of food for thought... thank you for taking the risk. Looks like you have struck QUITE a chord here. Really looking forward to your next post on steps to take to protect against this experience in the future.
Thank you, Caroline. I wasn’t expecting this post to resonate so much but I’m reassured that it has! I think these feelings are more common than we think, in all sorts of situations. Working on that positive follow up!
Take your time — we’ll wait for that post until you’re ready. Thanks for all you’ve shared thus far. 🩷
Thank you so much for sharing this. I am an upcoming author and after self-publishing my first two poetry books and 2 novels, I decided to venture into traditional publishing. I understand the patience required and the toll it takes on your sense of self-worth. While I have days I question everything as I wait for representation, I continue to write as I am surrounded with a family that both encourages and has taken the time to understand this process. All so that I do not feel ‘alone’. So best wishes to you and all aspiring and established authors. May we create stories for the love of creativity and always find our way back to the why✨
Thank you! I think the ‘why’ is the most important thing! Hope your new adventure goes swimmingly ❤️
It would be wrong not to comment and at least say thank you. But I feel that I could write a novel back, as you just tapped into so many feelings that are very raw and fresh for me (book published April 30th). The inability to identify what I'm feeling is compounded by the challenge of being surrounded by non-writers who cannot understand what I'm feeling. It's lonely. Your post made it a little less so... thank you.
I’m so glad it helped a little bit! We feel we can’t or shouldn’t share these feelings, but judging by the reaction to my post, it’s really common! Congratulations on the book and I hope you’re finding some moments of joy too ❤️
Thank you so much, and I am for sure! It was the unexpected feelings that took me by surprise and this article really helped. At the end of the day, I remain so very grateful to be able to write, and that there are people who want to read it. And for you!
I often tell aspiring authors to enjoy the journey. Thank you for sharing this.
Absolutely! 😁
Thank you for the pearl of separating the creative act from the business of publishing. The more I micro-focus on satisfying the creative urge and less on the outcome, the happier I am.
I’m glad to hear it! ❤️
Thanks for sharing this. As an aspiring author, this is so helpful to hear. I went through something extremely similar when I sold my business a few years ago. It’s wracking and painful, and isolating because everyone expects you to handle it well. Who do you complain to about selling a business or publishing a book? Many say they’d kill for “that type of problem” which feels so lonely and invalidating. Thanks again, be well.
Yes, exactly this! 🙏
Thousands copies sold? It is not a failure !!!
I know! But back then it FELT like a failure. Its all in the context I guess. I certainly don't feel like that any more!
That’s good !!!
Thanks for sharing this. It makes perfect sense that as soon as our entire self-worth is defined by the outcome of how many copies of the book were sold, we can’t feel free to create. I just started a cozy Sci-Fi comedy series on which I only gave myself 2 rules: I must make myself laugh while writing it, & it must make more than 1 other person laugh while reading it. And I have succeeded. And I have never felt more creative in my writing journey. 😁 All the best to you.
I love that! Enjoying the process is the thing!